What it’s like to have me as your cheerleader!
I first reached out to Soshy because I was struggling and having boundaries with sugar. (As in, they didn't exist.) Additionally, I'd internalized diet culture and the voices of negative influences to the point that I had made them my own and was trapped in a prison of my thoughts which equated my self-worth with my diet and weight. Everyday was a groundhog day version of repetitive obsessive thoughts about food, what I should and shouldn't eat, what I would and would not allow myself to eat and then inevitably a cycle of deprivation and overindulgence would appear.
I was really content in the other areas of my life but this big mental baseline was a weight around my neck.
I met with Soshy once a week for 6 weeks and I cannot tell you how helpful the whole experience was! Soshy guided each session based on what she heard as my needs. Something that I really appreciate about her approach is that she will always check in throughout a session and use verbiage like, how do you feel about that? What's coming up for you? Tell me your thoughts? She creates a very safe and supportive space to be vulnerable and allow real work and change to happen.
I appreciate how she always uses where I am as a launching pad for the next step. She helped me realize that even though there are things I will be triggered by, I now feel confident in having the tools to work through them. She helped me have so much grace with myself and not fear something that I love, sugar. And let's be honest, basically all food.
I've learned to listen to my body better and I have the confidence that it knows what is best for me. I will continue to meet with Soshy periodically for ongoing support. If, like me, you are on the fence about reaching out I encourage you to just go ahead and do it. You will never regret investing in yourself and Soshy is a sincerely amazing guide to help you get to where you want to be.
— Morgan F., North Carolina
Before I started working with Soshy my biggest struggle was being able to stop myself from eating even when I knew I was full. Although I didn't binge on junk food much, almost every time I was eating a meal, my inner voice told me "who cares", "just this once", "I won't overeat next time". So I would stuff myself to the point of pain and even not sleeping well, several times per week.
When Soshy started coaching me we talked about trusting my own body. I had always thought that my appetite was "just really big" and that my impulses to eat were somehow wrong. Taking the guesswork of what is bad or good and just going with what my body is telling me it wants really allowed me to begin the journey of not only trusting what my body wants, but then I moved into appreciating my body for what it can do and how healthy it is (as per my blood work and doctors!). I also, realized how many small stressors were impacting my eating patterns. While I can never get rid of stressors, just recognizing that they were affecting my eating has allowed me to take a step back before overeating again.
While I still on occasion eat a few bites more than I need to be content, I am not scared of eating and I trust myself so much more around food.
If you are struggling with something similiar I want you know that there is nothing wrong with your instincts/impulses and defense mechanisms. Seeing everything in our culture about how people "get fit" and undergo a "lifestyle change" that results in a 30lb weight loss makes you think that it's your fault that you are like this. But in reality, it's our culture's fault. So, instead of going with a program that promises or even just implies that it will result in weight loss, go with one that lets you be at peace with your eating and will make you healthier in the long run.
— Krista K., Longmont, CO
Before I started working with Soshy biggest struggle with food was eating it and feeling good about it--no matter what I ate. I felt like every meal time was a battle. I would dissociate and mentally leave the table. I didn't trust food. I didn't trust my body. I didn't trust my own ability to choose the "correct" food for my body. I classified food into arbitrary groups and followed very strict, yet also arbitrary, rules I had gathered from my own journey through Diet Land . I was terrified of food. I didn't believe that I could eat it and feel good about it—both physically and emotionally.
Soshy is a queen. She is the gentle, knowing, supportive, holding, mother of intuitive eating. Working with her shifted my perspective in ways I didn't know were possible. Soshy asks the hard questions--like the really really hard ones, the ones you've been avoiding your entire life-- and she then walks to that space with you while holding your hand and sits with you in that dark and scary space. One of my favorite things that she does is she recognizes you're in the middle of a huge emotion/disclosure/revelation, pauses, leans in, and says something along the lines of, "That's big. I'm going to give us space to sit with that," and then!! She sits with you, looks at you, and really, truly sees you, and supports you in that space in silence. It is BEYOND powerful. Soshy trusts your body and soon, you start to trust your own body too. Knowing she is cheering for you and supporting you no matter what allows you to take that step into the dark spaces, to pull the curtains over, to clear out the dust, and sit there looking at what lies underneath. And Soshy has this way of making it beautiful and approachable. I came to realize, it had SO much more to do with food and my body, and Soshy went above and beyond to support me each step of the way. Another thing that shifted working with Soshy was that she didn't tell me I needed to love myself--rather she encouraged me to start with accepting myself. To look in in the mirror and be ok with what's there. That was hard at first--I had to set timers to stay with myself long enough. Now I feel a difference in the way I walk around, in the way I hold myself, in the way I respond when I see myself in pictures. I also stopped comparing myself to everyone around me and in pictures. I do feel a true sense of acceptance of myself, and damn it feels good.
Since we started working together, my relationship with food and my body has changed in a way I never thought possible. Before working with Soshy, food and my body took up so so much of my mental space. I was constantly thinking about it. I was even going to doctors and naturopaths looking for reasons why I kept "gaining weight but I eat so healthy." What I came to learn is that I was actually starving myself. On our second call, Soshy called it out. She told me, "You're hungry." Soshy empowered me to trust my body and myself. To learn how to hear the calls of hunger and fullness and honor them. I now have a pretty neutral relationship with food--if I want something I eat it and if I don't want it then I don't. My body is starting to trust that it will get what it needs and wants when it does, and in turn my anxiety has gone down a lot. The backs of my hands used to tingle from stress--that is completely gone. I no longer obsess about food the way I used to. Going out to eat or to a social event doesn't give me anxiety about food for the entire day (e.g. not eating to "save room" and then overeating to a point of pain because I was so hungry from not eating all day). I can finally say I have a positive relationship with food--something I didn't even know was possible.
If you are struggling with something similar my words of advice would be:
1. It's not your fault. Diet culture is everywhere.
2. Start to experiment with trusting yourself. There was one call where Soshy stood up, put her tummy in front of the screen, pointed to her tummy, and said "There. Right there is all you need." I had a really hard time with trusting myself and my tummy. But I remember that so clearly. When the noise gets too loud in my brain, I go back to my tummy. It's all I need. It's all we need.
3. Work with Soshy. Seriously.
— Colleen B., Denver, CO
“Soshy Adelstein changed my life. Anyone who has the opportunity to work with her should be so lucky to have the honor before Oprah finds her and snatches her up. She has so much compassion, patience and passion in her coaching. I am continuously amazed at her incredible insight into the complicated web that is emotional eating and body image issues.
The changes we made together were small and slight almost unnoticeable in my day to day, until suddenly one day it hit me. I looked back and realized all the progress I had made. I couldn’t believe it. I still can’t. It is not me when I say things like, “I USED to binge eat”, or, “I LOVE my body”.
In the summer of 2014 I was a mess. After yet another failed diet I was at rock bottom. I knew that another diet was not the solution, but I also didn’t not know what else to do. Was there another option or way out of this cycle of yo-yo dieting that had defined me? The anxiety I faced thinking that this would be the rest of my life -diet, weight gain, diet, weight gain, was debilitating.
Well, there is another option. The wondrous world of intuitive eating which was delivered to me slowly but surely by Soshy. She helped me switch from a diet mentality to one of trust, love and respect for my body and through that I learned how to nourish it and let go of my war with food and self loathing. I know that I will forever be connected to Soshy because she does not just drop off after your weekly session. She is there and present when you need her. You will never have to face the scary world of emotional eating by yourself again. When you work with Soshy you gain a coach, counselor, inspirer and friend”.
— Tzivie P., Atlanta, GA
“Soshy has been one of the most influential individuals I have had the honor of working with in my life. When I started working with Soshy I had been dieting for 10 years and went up and down in weight constantly, all the while feeling hatred and disgust towards my body. It’s been a year now and the difference is so huge in how I view myself. I love my body and respect it more. I’ve learned the tools necessary to listen and understand what it needs instinctively. I don’t want to diet again, ever! Soshy taught me that unhealthy eating habits are just a symptom of something deeper that’s really going on. She helped me get to the root of the issue and I feel healed from the inside out. I cannot thank Soshy enough for teaching me how to connect to my body. It’s a gift that will stay with me forever.”
— Etty A., New York, NY
“I’ve been working with Soshy for almost 9 months now and I couldn’t be happier. Her hour long sessions and in depth investigation into your eating habits and their cause are thought provoking and extremely insightful. She is kind, patient and understanding. Her nonjudgmental attitude motivates you to take the initiative when it comes to your health. She truly listens when you speak and makes sure to always stay on topic. She understands that not everyone’s lives contribute to the healthiest food environment but that there are always ways one can incorporate healthy eating into your life no matter the circumstance. Working with Soshy has taught me so much about health and wellness and how both things must come together in harmony for a healthier and happier you. I couldn’t be more ecstatic with the results. The self-awareness and eye-opening experience has really put me on a better path towards a healthier self.”
— Raizy K., Brooklyn, NY
“After 20 years of bingeing and restricting and fine tuning an awfully dysfunctional relationship with food, I met Soshy. She has given me a whole new way to live. With truth and joy. She will teach you how to develop a healthy relationship with yourself and how to intuitively eat. She is a gifted coach/wizard/mentor/friend. If you have struggled with yoyo dieting and binge eating- forgive yourself and then give yourself a gift and call Soshy. Let her help heal you. It works!”
— Pamela B., Atlanta, GA
“I could not be where I am today, which is a pretty relaxed and successful place where life flows with incredible ease, without the support I received from Soshy. After I had my last rock-bottom moment with disordered eating and obsession with my weight that completely isolated me from my dearest friends, I decided I needed to do something. I was completely alone in a world fixated on lean hourglass bodies that simultaneously was trying to make me fatter at every turn. Life was only about calories and time spent working out. I couldn’t enjoy anything if I wasn’t concentrating on getting thinner-which honestly doesn’t lead to authentic fulfillment in the first place. Through working with Soshy, I’m pretty great with me at my size, which a year ago would have had me starving and wishing I was thinner. I even think I’m pretty damn beautiful. And for those intense moments when I’m not, I’ve got some strong tools to snap me back. Everyday I love myself more than I imagined I ever could regardless of dress size or a number on the scale. I eat what feels good to me rather than what some nutrition expert said I should in order to lose weight. Hey, I even go out for drinks and eat “horrible” things on occasion because it’s fun, it’s social and those are essential emotional nutrients in my life, too.
Life is so much easier and more playful when body image and disordered eating don’t have center stage. Soshy will help you find love for your body and joy in your life.”
— Margaret W., Denver, CO
When I started with Soshy, I saw my relationship with food through a filter. I was constantly comparing my body and my lifestyle with people I wanted to be more like. I was striving to be someone that I am not, and certainly don’t need to be. A common thought in my head was “If only I could control my actions better then I would be closer to looking and feeling like ______.” There was some self sabotaging going on.
Working with Soshy was a total delight— She’s honest, compassionate and a very keen listener. She could see insights about me that I was totally blind to, and because of that she was able to help me get to the core of my less-than-healthy mindset.
Some of the biggest gifts Soshy gave me were:
Self compassion: A healthy internal dialogue
Intuition and trust: The ability to listen to my body
Optimism: I’m feeling more at ease than ever in my mind and body
— Brooke W., Denver, CO